no regrets

i try to live with no regrets. people always say never have regrets. but you will never understand. i will probably hate myself and regret this for the rest of my life. i heard everything. i heard it all. i lied awake in the room next to you and cried. while i knew the rest of family was saying goodbye. you relived your life that night, i heard it all. through my tears i smiled remembering some of the memories.  i tried to think it wasn't the end. but deep down i knew. i think we all knew. i wish i could of said goodbye. but i didn't. i just heard it all. i wont forget any of the noises i heard that night. i dont think i ever will. everyone assures me its okay, he wouldn't be mad, he wouldn't want you to see him like that. but everyday i think i could of said goodbye, but i didn't. i was afraid and was hoping that you would still be there when i woke up. but your not. and now ill never get the chance. i miss you .