its all that i can say

i dont know. i just dont know. i never know when im doing something right. to me it feels like im doing the right thing. but to other people its like its like im doing something so wrong. you dont know what its like. you never knew what went on behind closed doors. but me i knew everything. when i make a promise saying ill always be there for you and mean it. ill prove it. i dont go back on my word. she needed me, and i was there. looking back, she was more of a friend to me then you two ever were. ive said that before. but its true. she never intentionally hurt me when she called me her best friend. sure it was bad when we werent friends. but people change, promises are broken. we move on , let things go. friendships arent supposed to be hard work. but its how we'll always be. ive accepted that. this time im stronger. my guards up higher. and you know. if you cant accept that. maybe your the one causing me the most pain, not her. you. 

im done trying to convince people that theyve done wrong when they ask. and it never getting through their head. i can say it every day. in person, over the phone, over email. they wont get it. probably never will. i cant change them. im not asking for them to change. im asking for improvment if they still want me around. if that doesnt happen. i cant keep putting myself through that. its draining, and its annoying. things are better. a lot better. it just wasnt the same anymore with you. i miss the old you. not the one you became. we'll never know what happened. but the past is in the past. this is what it is now. sure it sucks. but we all gotta move on.  we've moved apart.  we have to let things go. 

im just so happy i finally found a friend. best friend. that knows the meaning of friendship. a year ago friday. (halloween) is when it all began. our story is only just beginning and we've already got memories that will last a life time. just like our friendship. best friends forever. and we mean it.