warning:thiswillbefilledwithalotofhate

but ill sum it up quite nicely.

first things first. we werent even really good friends. but we had a friendship. you invite yourself over to my house. sneak on my msn. steal the guys msn you knew i liked. a bam you turned on your charm. not really charm. just basically a sex show.

secondly. then we openly didnt like eachother. everyone knew it. you tried to make me jealous all the time with your stories with him. telling other people. who would tell me. but as of then. you didnt have in person stories. it was all talk.

then. you got fired from a disney movie. yeah props to you that you had a role in a major disney movie. but to get fired. thats just jokes. who demands a bigger dressing room then the 3 biggest guys in hollywood. honestly.

so then, i think you two are done. finished. actually didnt even think you started. but then i find out after he left my house one night. you called him. cause you found out. and then you slept together. talk about pissed off.

yeah, we werent the best of friends. but theres a girl rule. and you need to learn how to follow the rules. thank god i have good friends at my school that have my back at this school, especially when you go and slam a door in my face.

two words; thank you.

honestly, i know it really sucks that we lost.

especially on national television.

because we worked so hard and we know we deserve it.

and so many more people know it too.

thank you so much to everyone that has been so nice and supportive to emily and i.

it means more then you'll ever know.

we were so scared that everyone wouldn't care we lost and people would just laugh.

but everyones in shock and completely on our side.

it makes losing so much easier knowing that across canada so many people support us.

even people we dont know.

my friend count goes up everyday lol.

but seriously. top 4 in canada is pretty damn amazing.

even though we lost, we know in our hearts we deserved.

im still just trying to figure out how we lost. 

i guess much music is just stupid.

but seriously,

thank you so much everyone. 

foxtrot. uniform. charlie. kilo.

ive seen so much more then you know now.

so dont tell me to shut my eyes. 

say hello to the girl that i am,

you're going to to have to see out of my perspective.

i need to make my own mistakes. 

just to learn, who i am.

i know i may come off quiet, i may come off shy. 

clearly, im not. 

gone are the days of summer.

my summer has been the best thing i could ever ask for in a million years. you wouldnt even believe it.

highlights. 

june 26th; we started our road trip to philadelphia. so many amazing laughs and memories that whole way down. 

june 27th; the day i had been waiting for. i met david archuleta. i dont think you understand the amount of excitement i had in me, and still do. words cant explain the happiness and how much it meant to me. 

june 29th; the latency at much on demand, the start of some great memories. leah even talked about shirts on tv. yeah. that was a good day.

june 30th; the latency at the casbah. the hours of conversation, the ten people there. sitting on the stage watching the set. and the endless laughs with the guys about 13 bags of dick. and free merchandise from mathew. things just kept getting better.

july 3rd; the latency at the fair. you know. this day was just fantastic. moving from fan status so fast. riding rides with the guys. almost becoming their backup dancers, hookers, and tech guys in one night. amazing night.

july 10th; warped tour. no words can describe this day. cute band boys make my life. thats all im saying. 

july 15th; meeting my role models since i was 13. the veronicas. unbelievable.

july 18th; a hard day, but we did it. it made me stronger, and my best friend helped me through so much.

july 19th-27th; disney world, and the start of my dreams coming true. singing on stage infront of 1000 people, signing autographs. incredible.

august 1st; a really really happy night.

august 2nd; seeing taylor swift in concert, and it meant more to me then you will ever know.

august 8th; my birthday. enough said.

august 14th; american idol day. singing with matt infront of all the fans acapella outside. just unbelievable. and adam lambert. sex god. and a douche.

august 15th; words couldnt even begin to describe this day. ive missed faber drive so much. the new members are awesome, even though i already knew one and fabers like wtf.  but thats okay, its our little secret ;) and the latency guys. hanging out with them, watergun fights, merch tables, screamo bands, and walks around the park. there the best group of guys ever.

august 21st; rocking toronto with the rockstar. yeahyeah!

august 22nd; well. just so happened to be one of the most eventful nights of august. oh bl. your just incredible. "well...im doing nothing...and your doing nothing..." gahh. no words really.

august 25th; much music dance parties. nothing else really. oh yeah emily osments rude.

august 27th; a day filled with douche bags and cute rockstars. and making friends with shiloh. she loves emily and i. thats all.

august 30th; amazing race jonas style. i dont really know how to sum up this day except that joes hand and my hand made babies. and we talked. and he gave me eye contact.

september 4th; i met jonna and pat from the real world. i realized that i have no shy bone left in my body.and emily and i rocked MOD, and the vjs and floor directors noticed. im also going to miss these 4 boys now :( until next tour.

honestly this summer was the best summer of my entire life. i couldnt of asked for anything better. it started off with something amazing and ended with something amazing. this summer has made me realize how lucky i am. and i came out of my shell so much. if you asked me last year if i would get up and dance by myself to the jonas brothers on national television. my answer would probably be no. never in a million years did i think id be able to sing onstage infront of over 1000+ people, and let alone to an American Idol. i never really thought i would be able to be a 'vj' for a few minutes almost everytime im on MOD with my best friend and not be nervous. but i did, not nervous at all. it felt natural. basically ive made so many new friends, met so many amazing 'celebrities' i never thought id meet, learned that liking rockstars is never a good thing except for the time their in town , got even closer to my best friend, finally started making my dreams come true, and so much more i couldnt even imagine.

summer is finished, my life is just getting started.