honestly

if i could ask you for one thing, it would be this.

please. for the love of god. please.

just one would be nice.

make it this one.

david archuleta

“I made the decision to start running again in the mornings, and the hardest part was to get it started. It was hard to motivate myself out of bed in the mornings. … Sometimes I just had to fight with myself to just get up and get ready, but I told myself, DAVID, you said that you’re going to exercise, and you’d better get out of bed or else you will have LIED to yourself, and you know what lying to yourself leads to; it leads to saying that you’ll do things, and… it’ll lead to saying that you’ll do things for other people and then failing and falling through with what you were supposed - what you said you were gonna do. And I don’t like that, so, lying to other people… no. And I was like, David, your reputation is on the line here. You know, if you start now… little things grow into bigger things, and I don’t want that happening.”

they love us

"but you can tell emily though, cause i know you guys are lovers and everything"

i love getting secret information. all i can say, is that im going to die in december. "arent you going to get sick of me;)?" "never!". 3 times, in 4 days.

best, news, ever.

"i am stunned with your life"

- my mom to me.

we can't fail if we can fix

i make mistakes. i have regrets. i hate being alone. im usually late. i hate school. i never call anyone back. i dont like being wrong. im a huge procrastinator. i act like im alot tougher then i am. i hate being ignored. i cry. i get annoyed by people too easily. i have enemies. i have horrible balance. i cant dance. i laugh really obnoxiously. i cant trust anyone with my life. many thing just seem to get to me. im not perfect. but the beauty of it is that i d o n ' t c a r e.

this needs to be quoted

"things are moving at a different place lately. less frantic. the walls aren't caving in. over the past few weeks i've experienced something i'd never before. moments of an afternoon are made to seem as they were carefully edited clips comprising the trailer to a half-decent movie. complete with perfectly timed theme music.

-- do you ever have those moments where what you're doing makes complete sense because of the song that's playing? or what you're doing all of a sudden becomes one of the most important moments in your life, timed perfectly to the right sound? --

bad things happen in good movies.

good movies can also end poorly. so not to say there isn't shit on some sidewalk somewhere. not to say you don't need to keep your battle stations manned. keep your edge, however you can. keep it sharp and keep it close.

enough about you. what about me? where do i find MY peace? try reading more than one book. (books ABOUT that one book, DO NOT COUNT as other books.) i don't need to dwell on whether there is a hell. i'm sure i've got plenty more positive things to think about. but peace. peace is always hard to find. no matter how grand your imagination is.

where can anybody really find it these days? shit is fucked. people are trying to find something safe in their lives to turn to and are presented with pockets full of pills and plasma screens. told to believe AOLTIMEWARNERAPPLESONYCNNJESUSPILSNER has the key to your happiness. for a nominal fucking fee.

i found some peace. here and there. what good is moderation if you don't have anything great to tempt you? i can't believe how much work there is to do. always. it often keeps me up at night. i sleep great though. it took a while. but i can sleep again.

everything that happens in your life, becomes who you are. you can't be happy with who you are until you can accept everything you've been through for what it is - your complexion. fuck yeah we did it. with all of our hearts. but you can't help but live like you're never going to die. somehow the middle makes itself clear. lucidity isn't always a cure. and sedation is almost never the right medication. but somewhere in the middle, somewhere i don't really care to pinnpointatthispoint, there is a healthy balance.

one foot in front of the others."

here we go again.

honestly, i really need to stop getting so attached to these band members.

it means nothing. it is what it is. at the moment.

thats it.

i keep telling myself that, but whatever.

it still feels good because it was me that was not chosen, but caught his eye . haha

miles to go.

last night someone told me i should write a book.

not just any book, but a memory book on stories that have happened to me.

not random stories, my concert stories.

they told me that honestly its pretty unbelievable with you sometimes.

and it would make a really good memoir.

now ive decided im going to.

in full on detail of everything i can possibly remember.

but just for me.

so when im older i will look back and be like whoa, that was a pretty fantastic expierence.

stuuuupid

shouldnt i be more mad at him? for basically being the biggest douche bag ever.

instead im furious with her? for basically being the biggest whore ever.

relationships, friendships, highschool. is so unbelievable complicated.

but whatever. i guess its easier to take it out on her.

because well shes right there and everything.

and my friends have my back, and dislike her too.

because why, she's gotten away with everything for too long.

and finallllyyyy shes pushed us all to the edge.

lets go jonas brother.